Technically, spring may have only just sprung, but forgive us for allowing our minds to wander towards the summer months. Specifically: to where we are heading on our holidays. Destination is essential – where one chooses to vacation can say a lot about a person and so, with the season’s clothing arriving in stores just in time for summer, we ponder where the muses behind the designer’s collections might be heading en vacances. For the rest of us, consider it some well-timed holiday inspiration.
1. The Gucci Woman (above)
Alessandro Michele’s Gucci gang were packing their valises for just about everywhere imaginable for A/W18. The creative director’s now trademark litany of references were pooled from countless countries and centuries, from NY-obsessives to Russian babushka dolls. But there was no Gucci girl quite so determined as the one with her sights set on the star-studded streets of Hollywood. Vaguely creeping out a bevy of midwestern OAPs, she’s headed for the parking lot at Paramount Pictures, offsetting her inescapable desire for glamour with her obsession with the fiery lives of the rich and famous.
Packing attire: Really, anything goes: providing it’s feather-trimmed, bejewelled and lacy and teamed with an inconspicuous black balaclava
The stay: In the throng of Hollywood’s finest B-listers at The Standard hotel, Sunset Boulevard
The soundtrack: Connie Boswell and Nine Inch Nails
The tipple: Vending machine coffee
Cultural companions: Nathanael West’s The Day of the Locust
Unlikely to say: “Where does Angelina live?”
Has a penchant for: Those next-big-things who never made it
2. The Balenciaga Woman
Demna Gvasalia concerned himself with our protection for Balenciaga A/W18. Piling coats upon jackets, upon trenches, his 3D dressing served as an overt metaphor for his current concern for the state of the world, while charity World Food Project-logoed T-shirts served as a practical one. Piled under her protective gear, this season’s Balenciaga woman is hitting Japan’s snowiest slopes – not for skiing, mind, but for some silent existential contemplation.
Packing attire: Every one of your Balenciaga coats – from the shaggy shearling to the light denim. Double up on ripstop anoraks for extra safety on long, lonely walks
The stay: The corrugated Eastern Bloc chic of Yuzawa, in Japan’s Niigata prefecture – the town has its own bullet train stop
The soundtrack: The Scissor Sisters, Comfortably Numb
The tipple: The local Kikusui Kuramitsu sake at only £130 a bottle
Cultural companions: Endless YouTube conspiracy videos about the truth behind Denver airport
Unlikely to say: “Watch me shreddin’ this gnar!”
Has a penchant for: Yeti tales
3. The Ralph Lauren Woman
The Ralph Lauren woman was born to take to the sea – and with both the spring’s dreary weather and the political world stage what it is, can you blame her for doing so just now? Yachting classics from blue and white wellington boots to vinyl, striped anoraks were paired with a timeless white shirt or a flowing two-piece suit at the S/S18 show, inspiring many a hastily booked yachting retreat for the summer. Take Lauren’s lead and transition from the deck to the harbour with a crisp cotton sundress and a much-loved marinière. No shoes needed.
Packing attire: A shiny striped swimsuit
The stay: The family cabana at Round Hill, Jamaica for the winter, or pretty Portofino on the Italian Riviera come summertime
The soundtrack: Aaliyah, Rock the Boat
The tipple: A Blue Hawaiian
Cultural companions: Ernest Hemingway’s The Old Man and the Sea
Unlikely to say: “Shall we fly this time?”
Has a penchant for: Sailing-themed idioms
4. The Jacquemus Woman
Simon Porte Jacquemus’ woman is mostly to be found sunning herself among the idyllic coastal villages of the south of France, but this season the designer took her further afield, imagining her among the souks of Marrakesh (Le Souk, he titled the A/W18 collection). The Jacquemus woman has long been a heat seeker, and we imagine her, in the collection’s roomy, djellaba-inspired trousers, or draped spaghetti-strapped dresses in warm tones of terracotta, brown and pink, to cut her most striking figure further afield still – among the Moroccan desert’s rolling dunes.
Packing attire: Kaftans in earthy hues, crisp, loosely-tied shirting, and hats – big ones
The stay: A luxurious desert oasis (this lady doesn’t do camping)
The soundtrack: Moroccan Berber music and Cat Stevens
Cultural companions: Her latest market stall “find”
The tipple: Mineral water, mint tea
Unlikely to say: “I’m too hot”
Has a penchant for: Referring to Kate Winslet in Hideous Kinky as her “spirit animal”
5. The Givenchy Woman
For her sophomore ready-to-wear offering at Givenchy, designer Clare Waight Keller noted Berlin, still divided down the middle and the “air thick with sleaze and danger”, as the spiritual home of the A/W18 collection. It made for a fatal type of glamour – no surprise that Catherine Deneuve and David Bowie’s erotic vampire movie, The Hunger, was on the moodboard – that called on the city’s repute for its after dark activities. Who said a holiday needs sunshine? The Givenchy lady knows all the best fun is to be had at night.
Packing attire: Large (faux) fur coats, severe suiting and, for evening time, an abundance of sparkle
The stay: Berlin – no accommodation necessary, this is a woman who neither needs, nor wants, sleep
The soundtrack: Lou Reed’s Berlin album
Cultural companions: The collected films of Rainer Werner Fassbinder
The tipple: Vodka on the rocks at night, Prairie Oyster Martinis (Sally Bowles’ hangover cure du jour) of a morning
Unlikely to say: “Is it time to go home?”
Has a penchant for: Lipstick and cigarettes
6. The Simone Rocha Woman
The area of Dedham Vale in Suffolk has been known as ‘Constable County’ since the 1800s due to the Romantic painter’s renowned landscapes depicting the region and its sublime natural beauty. Simone Rocha created floral prints with these landscapes in mind for A/W18, crafting dresses in silks and brocades, while the structure and shape of the clothes were a nod to the attire featured in Constable’s 19th-century portraits. The Simone Rocha woman – “a Victorian tomboy,” the designer labelled her – is likely to be found exploring the majesty of the Suffolk countryside, stopping in at pubs and stately homes alike as and when she encounters them. Gothic novel in hand and embellished, layered, gloved and bejewelled like no other.
Packing attire: Floral jacquard dresses, embellished tulle skirts, trousers adorned with bows and beaded black knitwear – all to be layered over each other, plus plenty of crystal hair clips
The stay: A family friend’s country house in the heart of Dedham Vale
The soundtrack: Culture Club, Romance Revisited
The tipple: A Black Velvet
Cultural companions: Ann Radcliffe’s The Mysteries of Udolpho
Unlikely to say: “Let’s look it up on Google maps”
Has a penchant for: The National Trust
7. The Tommy Hilfiger Woman
There’s been much talk over recent seasons about the fashion industry’s ever-increasing momentum – but as Tommy Hilfiger’s see-now-buy-now collection for S/S18 deftly demonstrated, the Hilfiger woman remains ready and raring to go. This season she’s forgoing beach breaks for an action-packed trip to Monaco, where presumably she’ll be driving in the Formula One World Championship, rather than simply waving a flag to start the race. Naturally such a pastime requires a tailor-made wardrobe: expect red acetate visors, leathers in the brand’s trademark coalition of red, white, black and blue, sassy cropped jersey tops and plenty of chequerboard prints. Don’t try to get in her way – she won’t hesitate to run you down.
Packing attire: A leather boilersuit, boots and helmet
The stay: The Fairmont Monte Carlo – its location in one of the Grand Prix’s most dramatic hairpin bends makes it the perfect spot from which to wave at her competitors
The soundtrack: Christina Aguilera, Dirrty
The tipple: A vodka martini, laced with gasoline
Cultural companions: A car jack – you never know when you might need it
Unlikely to say: “Do you have a number for the AA?”
Has a penchant for: Brittany Murphy death conspiracy theories
8. The Coach Woman
At dusk in the New Mexico desert is when and where you’ll find the Coach girl. She’s wearing the wispy, tiered florals, denim reinforced with patches of suede and fur, and barely tinted sunglasses that Stuart Vevers sent down the A/W18 catwalk as she negotiates cacti and sun-bleached shrubs. Much like her surroundings, this woman is hardy – dare we say prickly – and adventurous, undeterred by such insignificances as rough ground or other people.
Packing attire: Prairie dresses and dark denim
The stay: A motel. The bulb in its neon ‘vacancies’ sign needs changing
The soundtrack: Lana del Rey, Lust for Life
The tipple: Rum and ginger ale: no ice, extra lime
Cultural companions: A Polaroid camera
Unlikely to say: “But it’s getting dark”
Has a penchant for: Wim Wenders