Cher’s Lessons in Life, Love and Twitter

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Cher c.1970

Everybody’s favourite auto-tune diva turns 71 tomorrow. We celebrate her birthday by outlining five things she can teach us about how to be your most fabulous self

Cher is a woman who needs little introduction – but, we’ll give it a go. Born Cherilyn Sarkisian on May 20, 1946 in El Centro, California, Cher’s father was an Armenian-American truck driver with drug and gambling problems, and her mother, Georgia Holt, an occasional model and bit-part actress. Such stable parentage might explain the Believe singer’s hardiness when it comes to career, matters of the heart and expressing staunch political opinions on Twitter in capital letters. To say a big Happy Birthday to our favourite auto-tuned diva (who still doesn’t look a day older than 35) we present five lessons to learn from her outlook on life. 

1. Wear clothes only suitable after the 9pm watershed
Let’s turn back time to 1989 and the infamous video for If I Could Turn Back Time, which caused a major upset amongst American Naval officials who were not informed of the raunchy nature of her ensemble. Cher’s look for the video, which says “I’m here to straddle a cannon in a strategically placed ribbon and there’s absolutely nothing you can do about it,” was so shocking that MTV wouldn’t play it before the 9pm watershed.

2. A man is not a necessity
If you haven’t seen the iconic 1996 interview between Cher and Jane Pauley then let us transcribe it for you now:

Jane Pauley: “You said, ‘a man is not a necessity. A man is a luxury.’”
Cher: “Like dessert, yeah. A man is absolutely not a necessity.”
Jane Pauley: “Did you mean that to sound mean and bitter?”
Cher: “Not at all! I adore dessert, I love men. I think men are the coolest. But you don’t really need them to live. My mom said to me, ‘you know sweetheart, one day you should settle down and marry a rich man.’ And I said, ‘Mom – I am a rich man.’”

Words to live by if ever we heard them.


3. Believe in life after love
A song that sits beside Gloria Gaynor’s I Will Survive as an ultimate heartbreak survival anthem, Believe is truly one of the most moving pieces of pop music in the history of Cher-kind. Even the heavy use of millennium worthy auto-tune (one that became known as ‘the Cher effect’, distorting her signature belting vocals into a robotic caterwaul) can’t knock the sheer emotion pulsating throughout. All together now: I DON’T NEED YOU ANY MORE!

4. Sparkle and sequins are your two best friends
Lesson number four is not so much a fashion moment as a perennial sartorial statement for Cher, because the sheer amount of sparkle and sequins she has worn throughout her career must collectively weight a ton. Cases in point: Cher in a full sequin and feather bodysuit at the 1974 Met Gala; Cher at the 1986 Oscars in her best ‘sonic the hedgehog does drag’ finest; Cher as Cleopatra at a 1988 Halloween party (she may as well have just come as herself). Bob Mackie, you still give us heart palpitations – but in the best possible way.

5. Become a prolific tweeter
Of all the Twitter accounts in existence (including our own), @Cher is one that that you should follow immediately if you haven’t already. In 140 characters or under, the pop icon manages to express some extremely poignant views with an artful arrangement of emojis. “ITS TRUE IM DYSLEXIC & some of u have a problem following me !I am who i am! Dyslexia is no joke ! If i had Some1 twt 4 me whats the point” she scolded followers on the social media platform, who complained about her outbursts. We’d really love to know who would ever lodge a complaint about her tweeting activity, because with such classics including: “I’m eating turkey , but I got a little hot under the Bustier ! Am so busy & exhausted, but will twt later !” and more recent politically motivated posts such as “SHAWN SPICER IS A BITCH !! ”, we hope that Cher keeps it up well into her 70s, 80s, 90s and beyond.