This Facial Massager May Look Phallic But It’s the Best Money Can Buy

From the niche new beauty brands doing something different, to the industry’s evergreen icons, Sophie Bew opens up AnOther’s dream vanity in a new series...

1. Who should use it? Anyone with seven minutes spare in the morning or evening and a desire for plumped skin.
2. How long until I love it? Seven tension-melting minutes.
3. How planet-friendly is it? Short answer please! The roller’s packaging is 100 per cent recyclable and this heavy-duty device will last a lifetime in your beauty kit.
4. How do I use it? There are three easy methods that serve massage, drainage and assist product penetration – simply read on or skip straight to this video.

Sales of face massage tools have truly soared over the last year. A quick scan through the Net-a-Porter beauty section ‘Tools and Devices’ offers a catalogue of weaponry that sooner resemble sex toys (plus some turbans) than skincare. There are wands, balls, plugs, masks, vibrating massagers, yoni-shaped rose quartz stones, needlers and studded sticks – in shades of obsidian, petal pink, gunmetal and amethyst. The latter of which is peppered with 24 karat gold specks.

One tool cuts through the noise: Joanna Czech’s Facial Massager. Though it also resembles male genitalia – wrought in ice-cold zinc and aluminium alloys that remain mystifyingly cold, even when living inside the (literally) steamiest room in your house. Nine months in the making, the tool was designed to mimic the facial maestro’s much-coveted expert technique. And boy is it coveted: before this year’s Met Gala, Czech treated a humble roster of women including Bella Hadid, Amber Valletta, Charlotte Gainsbourg, Lily Aldridge and Carey Mulligan. It has appeared on countless A-list Instagram accounts – but with good reason. At 12 ounces, the tool is weighted so that one needn’t apply pressure while using. But its winning characteristic is those two glistening balls that roll ever-so-slightly in towards one another which, when run over the skin, actually grab your muscle and tissue between them and lift it. If you get it in the right spot it will suck your cheek away from the bone in the most delicious way. 

The tool has three purposes in your life. 1) massage. 2) drainage. 3) pushing in product. Each result requires a slightly different approach but the first may be the most important if you don’t do it already: boosting circulation and releasing tension in our overused muscles, facial massage can dissolve frown lines and physically change the shape of your face. Try doing one side first to see the difference between brows, jawline and cheekbones on each side. The technique is simple (Czech’s how-to video is gratifyingly easy to follow): Imagine your nose is the centre of a clock and work outwards and upwards from it with the roller. If massage is desired, lead with the handle to lift and sculpt. If drainage, lead with the balls, pushing excess water and puffiness out towards the hairline (Czech recommends going one inch past the hairline for both massage and drainage), then down from behind the ear to the shoulder to move water into the lymph glands. Used on top of a sheet mask, oil or serum, the roller can also be rolled back and forth in a cross-hatch motion to massage in any product for extra penetration. A flushed pinkish glow offers pleasing proof of your efforts and disappears quickly. According to the maestro, just seven minutes a day will make a huge impact and, since this tool passes her Netflix Challenge – can you use it in front of the TV? – that’s been pretty easy to muster.